BLOGS BY BOB

I got the following list via email the other day.  I would be happy to give it attribution but I have no idea who wrote it or when so read and enjoy.

 

The Hurricane Katrina Room (still under construction).

 

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.  

 

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you  don’t even have to show up.

 

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.

 

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.

 

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.

 

The National Debt room which is huge and has no ceiling.

 

The Tax Cut  Room with entry only to the wealthy.

 

The Economy Room which is in the toilet.

 

The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you go back for a  second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.

 

The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.

 

The Environmental  Conservation Room, still empty.

 

The Supremes  Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.

 

The  Airport Men’s Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.

 

The Decider Room complete  with dart board , magic 8-ball, Ouijaboard, dice, coins, and  straws.

 

The museum will have an electron  microscope to help you locate the President’s accomplishments.

 

Aronson Press (AP) June 13, 2008

Dateline – The Vatican

By Bob (Scoop) Aronson

 

U.S. President George W. Bush (GWB) met briefly today with Roman Catholic Pope Benedict at his Vatican quarters.  We secretly recorded this conversation between the two of them in the Vatican gardens.

 

GWB               Howdy yer popeship

 

POPE            May the lord be with you Mr. President (what stupidity will come out of his mouth this time ?)

 

GWB               How y’all doin’?

 

POPE              I’m well my son, and how is your health?

 

GWB               Well, I got this corn on my toe, hurts like hell- er… heck

 

POPE              I’m sorry, perhaps we can have the Vatican physician look at it (maybe Dr.  Ciochetto will look at his head, too, it looks like a corn).

 

GWB               Awesome, but shucks, no your Popeship, I got ma own sawbones, his name is  Scholl, I bet you heard of him.  He makes these tiny corn pads that lift off that corn in a couple days.  He is one of our leading eggheads.  He also makes them ‘gellin’ shoe inserts.  I’m ‘gellin, are you ‘gellin’ yer Popeness?

 

POPE              I’m sorry?

 

GWB               Ah’ll bet them thar slippers you wear are hard on yer feet.  Slip in a couple of these Sholl’s gellin inserts and yer dogs’ll feel great, make ya feel jis like yer walkin on water, kinda like ol you know who (wink wink).

 

POPE              Who?  

 

GWB               You know, the Governor of Florida – what’s his name Christ?  Hey…my lil brother Jeb used to have that job.

 

POPE              He walks on water?

 

GWB               Jeb?  No, but he’s surrounded by it.  Have you ever been to Disney World Mr. Pope?

 

POPE              No Mr. President I have not (I think I’m in Disney world right now, and he’s Goofy.  How do I get out of here).

 

GWB               Ah just love Mickey Mouse, Ah watch his cartoons all the time and his girl Minnie is a really hot lil’ number if ya know what ah mean (wink wink)

 

POPE              No, and I don’t think I want to.  Mr. President I apologize but I really have to go (I think I’ll change my position on abortion and he’s my example of why).

 

GWB               Hey ah know all ‘bout those prostrate glands.  Takes me forever to pee.

 

POPE              No…I mean I have to go

 

GWB               Whoops, sorry, have you tried sweet potatoes?  Mom used to make me eat them when I had diarrhea and they really worked.

 

POPE              Good-bye Mr. President, May God walk with you and guide your thinking (does this jerk think?)

 

GWB               It’s been a pleasure yer popeliness.  And oh yeah, ah’ll be sending you some of Doc Sholl’s stuff.  Ah don’t think he has anything for prostrates though and I’ll check on sweet potatoes, too. 

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