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Communication Advice For Republicans. You’re Blowing It! February 27, 2009

Posted by Bob Aronson in The economy.
4 comments

As a semi-retired communication consultant I want to offer my critique of the conservative approach toward President Obama’s stimulus plan.  I don’t pretend to think that the plan will solve all of our problems but at least it addresses them.  So far conservatives have addressed big deficits and big government but have not even alluded to real people.  I learned long ago that you never discuss problems unless you have solutions.  Those who oppose the stimulus plan are excellent at discussing the problems it may create; they fail miserably in offering solutions.  

 

While I support President Obama’s efforts I’m going to offer some advice to my conservative friends.  Simply put, you’d better start sounding like you give a damn about the average American because right now you appear to care only about being disagreeable.

 

My personal philosophy is quite simple, “If communication is not your top priority all other priorities are at risk.”  Conservatives within and without congress have totally failed to communicate that they care.  Nothing proves it more than Rush Limbaugh’s statement that he “hopes President Obama fails.”  The obvious inference, then, is that he favors politics over helping Americans overcome adversity.  Where’s the Christianity in that statement Mr. Limbaugh?  Your hubris is exceeded only by your bombastic thoughtlessness.  Even some of your supporters think you’ve gone too far with that utterance. 

 

Here’s where Rush and the loyal opposition to President Obama have gone wrong.  The President talks about people losing their homes, conservatives discuss the national debt.  He talks about a lack of health care access, they talk about budget deficits.  He talks about families that are forced to go to food shelves, they talk about taxes.  He talks about millions of lost jobs, they talk about big government. 

 

The fact is when people are concerned about their own well being they simply don’t care about the difference between a billion and a trillion dollar deficit or big government.  When people are faced with unemployment or have already lost their jobs they don’t care about taxes.  Conservatives have totally ignored the prime tenet of effective, persuasive communication; talk about the audience and their needs — not about yourself and your beliefs. 

 

Perception is ninety percent of reality.  If people perceive that you care more about money than you do about them they will quit listening to you, worse yet they will probably turn against you. 

 

The issue here is people, not money.  Conservatives would do themselves some good to rethink how they articulate their opposition to the President’s plan.  I’m not saying they have to agree with him, they shouldn’t if they feel they might compromise their principles, but if they don’t change their attitude they will come out the big losers in this battle.

 

So far, Republicans have come across as the party of “No!”  Rarely do you hear any of them discuss human misery.  Rather — they seem to think they can connect with the public by attacking spending and big government.  What they should be doing is to offer some compassionate solutions rather than just saying no.  Here is a short list of what people really care about:

 

  • Loss of job and income
  • Loss of investments
  • Loss of retirement funds
  • Feeding their families
  • Paying their bills
  • Keeping a roof over their heads
  • Providing adequate health care for their families
  • An adequate number of public safety people to protect them from the rise in crime that always comes with a faltering economy.
  • Proper education for their children

 

Effective, persuasive communication dictates that you speak in terms that have a direct impact on your audience.  When people are faced with losing their homes and their ability to feed their families they really don’t care about the national debt or deficit spending, they want solutions, not more problems. 

 

I’ll probably get a lot of nasty email from conservatives but before you send it re-read what I wrote.  It is very good advice, the same advice I would offer if I was being paid for it. 

 

Also, please read and comment on my Organ Donation and Transplantation blogs on

http://bobsnewheart.wordpress.com .   You can visit my Facebook site, Organ Transplant Patients, Friends and You at  http://tinyurl.com/225cfh  OR — my Facebook home page http://www.facebook.com/home.php  

I Am Not Brave, I Have Cancer February 24, 2009

Posted by Bob Aronson in Patient stories.
2 comments

Every so often I get a note from a Facebook friend that really moves me.  This is one such note.  We can all learn from the words of Marcie Williams.  She wrote what follows in the hope that others will benefit.  If you want to know more about Marcie or contact her go to:

http://www.facebook.com/reqs.php#/group.php?gid=52102741772

 

I am not brave. I have cancer.
By Marcie Williams

One day you’re teaching, the next day you have cancer. Do you tell your supervisor or students? You’re the director of an ESL program and your employee gets cancer. What should you say? What if your colleague is diagnosed with cancer? What do you do? The aim of this article is to answer these questions and others.

I am a cancer veteran. Veteran you say? Yes veteran. I’m not a fan of the word survivor because it doesn’t sufficiently describe the battle to beat cancer. Plus, I think survivor is stigmatizing in that it makes me forever known as the girl with cancer. I am more than that so I prefer veteran. In October 2005, I was a 30 year old ESL instructor. I lived in New York City and had a cool loft that, like most New Yorkers, I shared with five people to pay the rent. Then I discovered a lump. After hoping it would disappear, I went to the doctor. I had a mammogram, a biopsy, a core biopsy, and finally in January 2006 a mastectomy. This was followed by chemotherapy, radiation, and physical therapy for lymphedema. In May of 2007, I moved to Columbus.

What I learned while going through my cancer battle was that if you are a cancer patient, support groups are plentiful and cover most aspects of your treatment. On the other hand, these groups do not provide support for my colleagues and coworkers. Many of them had no idea what to say to me and I also learned that many administrators were also unsure what to do or say once they learned of my illness. It occurred to me that I could help by offering suggestions.

The suggestions I have written below can be divided into three sections – for everyone, for cancer patients and for supervisors. These suggestions are based on my own experiences, the experiences of other cancer veterans, and what I have read in various cancer books and blogs. It is my hope that the article below will help you if you are either fighting the cancer battle or helping someone fight it.

For Everyone
If your friend or coworker has cancer, don’t ignore it. This is one of the biggest blunders you can make. Also, it does not matter if you think chemotherapy is toxic poison, try not to disagree with or criticize her treatment plan or give her suggestions for alternative medicines. It puts her in a defensive position. This is a time when she needs support not a time when she needs to justify her actions.
People also tried to compare their illnesses with my cancer. I realize they were trying to relate to me and doing the best they could, but having pneumonia does not equal having cancer. People also tried to relate and help me by giving unsolicited advice and information. I had women come up, tell me they too had cancer and then go into the horrors of chemo, surgery etc. Some information was so scary I actually started to cry. Other times I just stared in shock. If you have information to share, it is my advice to tell the patient you have information that, when they are ready, you will share.

I think people are at a loss of what to say when they learn you have cancer. They say what they think is best. People want to be supportive and helpful but some things just sound wrong. For example, when people told me to be positive or be strong, it added a lot of pressure to be constantly cheerful. People would say ‘you’re very brave” and I always thought “no, not really”. Brave is a firefighter who rescues a child from a burning building. I am just doing what I have to so I don’t die.

Things you can do -
Ask questions, then listen
Give cards, gifts, visits
Tell us you have experiences with cancer – ask us if we are ready to hear what you know, then tell us
Do favors. Don’t ask, just do it.
Follow our lead – if we want to talk, then listen
Be there – ask us to lunch or dinner
Be normal – if we are out of the office, keep us in the loop and yes, by that I do mean gossip
Say things like:
I’m here
You look great
I’m sending you prayers, karma, awesome thoughts
How are you today?
You are amazing
That is terrible

Things NOT to say –
If you need anything, call me.
Don’t put us in a position to ask, just help

God won’t give you more than you can handle
This always made me think ‘so if I were weak, I wouldn’t have gotten cancer?’

My aunt/friend/sister died of that or my friend beat it and then had a recurrence
Please DO NOT tell me cancer stories with a bad ending

Is it treatable?
This always disturbed me because I just didn’t know. It was almost as if I should say ‘we have to wait and see if I die or not before I know if it’s treatable’

My whole family had it so I will get it too
Maybe but you don’t have it right now and you may not get it. This is not about you

That’s the most curable kind of cancer
This diminishes what the patient is going through

At least it isn’t brain cancer
Again, don’t diminish what the patient has

For Patients
As a patient there are many work related issues to consider. Telling people you have cancer is a personal decision but I advocate telling both colleagues and students. Some of the reasons I told my colleagues were to prevent negative feelings, get help and promote understanding. I was afraid I would miss work or need extra help to perform my work duties and if they didn’t know the real reason, they would become resentful.

I told, and still tell, students I had cancer. I do this to help them. I learned that reactions to cancer vary in different countries and the reactions to ‘female’ cancers can be quite negative. For example, in Middle Eastern countries, cancer is shameful, too embarrassing, taboo and frightening to mention. Sometimes women aren’t allowed mammograms or other treatments because they would be administered by male doctors. In the UAE, cancer is the biggest killer of women because stigma prevents early detection. Many countries do not promote regular mammograms. If I can change these perceptions, encourage mammograms, or help any student. I will tell my story.

If you choose to tell people, you should consider some of the following. Do you do it face to face or appoint someone to tell people for you? I had my sister tell my friends. After telling a few, and finding myself comforting them, I couldn’t do it anymore. You should also keep in mind that many people are squeamish, so consider how much detail you give. Gender plays a huge role in how you tell people as well. For me, it is uncomfortable to tell men and my male students I had breast cancer. It is also uncomfortable for them. If they ask what kind of cancer I had, I might look down, point, or depending on my mood, I tell.

If you decide to tell people, keep in mind their reactions. People mean well but oftentimes are wildly inappropriate. Keep that in mind and try to remain calm. I also try to alleviate their discomfort.

After you are diagnosed, it is important to keep some other work-related items in mind. Try to plan your doctor’s appointments at convenient times. This is not only for yourself, but for your supervisors as well. It is also important to communicate your schedule with your supervisors. If you have to miss work for an appointment, I recommend keeping a log. Some companies allow you to make up the time instead of taking vacation or sick days and it is important to record your absences.

For Supervisors
Supervisors also have a key role in cancer patients’ work. Things that you as a supervisor can do include planning for every contingency. Patient’s reactions to cancer treatments are unpredictable so it is essential for supervisors to have a back-up plan. This requires flexibility and skillful budget handling. It is also important to communicate with your employee. The more information you have about the employee’s appointments, the more you can plan. If you need to know something, ask your employee. It takes the burden off the employee to remember and explain everything at a time when she is thinking about her own mortality. Oftentimes, supervisors try to reduce the patient’s workload. On the one hand, this is a lovely gesture, but on the other hand it runs the risk of scaring the patient. They might think you are doing this to slowly fire them, or it could make them feel useless. So don’t assume the person cannot do the job; ask them directly.

To conclude, I hope this has provided a bit of insight into the mindset of a cancer patient and given you some suggestions for what to say or do as a patient, supervisor or colleague. Before I finish, I’d like to share the best piece of advice I received while going through chemotherapy. A co-worker – also a cancer veteran – told me that while I was ill, it was my time. It was ok to think about myself; to be a little selfish or, for that matter, a lot selfish. This was a hugely liberating piece of advice and I think everyone can learn from it. If you are ill, it is your time. If your employee or coworker has cancer – it is her time. She needs everyone’s time, support, and understanding to beat the disease. Good luck to everyone.

 

Please comment in the space provided, comment directly to Marcie or send your thoughts to me in an email at bob@baronson.org.

 

Also, please read and comment on my Organ Donation and Transplantation blogs on

http://bobsnewheart.wordpress.com .   You can visit my Facebook site, Organ Transplant Patients, Friends and You at  http://tinyurl.com/225cfh  OR — my Facebook home page http://www.facebook.com/home.php  

Keep Kids Home, Send Old Guys To Fight Wars!!!! February 22, 2009

Posted by Bob Aronson in World Views.
1 comment so far

A friend of mine from Israel sent me the following post.  At age 70 it sure makes sense to me.  Enjoy

 

At 60  the Israeli  Armed Forces think that’s too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing arse about face.

 

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to let us old guys go.  You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35. *

 

*For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex every ten minutes, leaving us about sixty times more time to concentrate on the enemy.*

 

***A cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier** and young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky. You want cranky?  ‘My back hurts!  I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’

 

We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some arsehole who
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.*

 

*An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys are always up early to pee so, what the hell! Besides, like I said, ‘I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be killing some fanatical bastards. *

 

*If  we were captured we wouldn’t be able to spill the beans because we’d have forgotten where we put them. In fact, name, rank and serial number could be quite a brainteaser. *

 

*Basic camp would be easy for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at at home … and we’re used to soft food. *

 

*They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat and didn’t see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. *  *Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy too. I’ve never seen anyone out-run a bullet. *

 

*An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to Shave: to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a peak on it to shade his eyes – not the back of his head. *

 

*These are all great reasons for keeping our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way. *

 

*Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed-off old farts with attitude and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. *

 

*How about recruiting Women over 50? … with PMS.   You think men have
attitude !!!!!!!!!*

 

*If nothing else, put us on border patrol. We’ll have it secured the first night. 

If you have comments about this blog, write them in the space provided below, or email them to me at jaxbob@gmail.com.

 

Also, please read and comment on my Organ Donation and Transplantation blogs on

http://bobsnewheart.wordpress.com .   You can visit my Facebook site, Organ Transplant Patients, Friends and You at  http://tinyurl.com/225cfh  OR — my Facebook home page http://www.facebook.com/home.php  

When’s The Last Time You Had A Salad? The Sorry State Of Our Health. February 17, 2009

Posted by Bob Aronson in Healthcare.
6 comments

In the United States we spend more on healthcare per capita than any other nation on earth and no wonder   – we are the most technologically advanced, have the very best professional people and can boast of the best facilities.  Why then do we lag so far behind much of the world in terms of our national health?   What’s wrong with this picture?

 

Our health care system is seriously broken and no amount of glue, patchwork fixes or insurance adjustments is going to repair it.  We need a complete overhaul, one in which patients have access to affordable health care unencumbered by the scores of entities attempting to “manage” our care. 

 

I am at a loss in trying to explain how Blue Cross and Blue Shield, United Health Care and all the others are helping to improve access and lower the cost of our care.  Insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, high tech medical equipment manufacturers are all making money, yet we as a nation are getting sicker. 

 

The December 1, 2008 issue of Time Magazine the article “The Sorry State of American Health” http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1860289_1860561_1860562,00.html

tells a grim story of just how bad things are in the United States.  To quote from the article:  If you’re like 67% of Americans, you’re currently overweight or obese. If you’re like 27%, your blood pressure is too high. If you’re like a whopping 96% of the population, you may not be able to recall the last time you had a salad, since you’re one of the hundreds of millions of Americans who rarely eat enough vegetables. And what you do eat, you don’t burn off — assuming you’re like the 40% of us who get no exercise. Most troubling of all, if you’re like any parent of any child anywhere in the world, you may be passing your health habits to your children, which explains why experts fear that this generation of American kids may be the first ever to have a shorter life span than their parents do.”

 

I don’t know if that paragraph upsets you but it should.  Can you believe that 96% of Americans can’t remember the last time they had a salad?  Maybe because I had a heart transplant eighteen months ago I’m more health conscious than most but these are alarming numbers and if you don’t care enough about your own health for heaven’s sake what about your kids?

 

Here’s more — Time makes it clear that  “The biggest problem with the U.S. health-care system is that it has long been designed to respond to illness rather than prevent it.”  

 

Now some scary, I mean really scary data.  “In 2005, the most recent year for which data are available, about 7 babies out of every 1,000 live births in the U.S. died before their first birthday. That rate represents a 2% reduction in deaths from the year before, which continues the steady improvement seen throughout the 20th century. But globally, it still places us 29th in the world, behind Cuba and Singapore and on a par with Poland and Slovakia.”  29th in infant mortality?  Behind Slovakia?  Even worse, there are about forty five million Americans who are uninsured and whose only access to care is through their hospital emergency room — and guess who pays for that?

 

Quoting further from Time, “Between 1980 and 2004, the prevalence of obesity in the U.S. doubled among adults, surging to 72 million, or one-third of people ages 20 and older. Worse, the percentage of overweight or obese kids rose to 17%. If all those numbers could be cut by even a third, the ripple effect would in turn slash rates of hypertension, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, joint damage and more, not to mention the myriad costs associated with fighting these illnesses.”

I have but two suggestions for readers of this blog.  1) If you care about yourself and  your family, think about adopting a healthier life style, think about getting some preventive care.  Think about living!  2) If you care about the future of your family and the rest of America, start putting pressure on your elected representatives to do something about this sorry state of affairs.

 

If you have comments about this blog, write them in the space provided below, or email them to me at jaxbob@gmail.com.

 

Also, please read and comment on my Organ Donation and Transplantation blogs on

http://bobsnewheart.wordpress.com  You can visit my Facebook site, Organ Transplant Patients, Friends and You at  http://tinyurl.com/225cfh  OR — my Facebook home page http://www.facebook.com/home.php  

Billions for Bulls–t Not a Dime For You! February 15, 2009

Posted by Bob Aronson in The economy.
2 comments

While President Obama and Congress struggle with exactly what the new stimulus plan will accomplish no one seems to be looking at  wasteful spending, especially the very vocal Republican minority which loudly complains of too much spending but ignores the waste they created when they held both houses of congress and the presidency.  According to a 2005 report by the Heritage Foundation http://www.heritage.org/research/budget/bg1840.cfm we could save scores of billions of dollars if we eliminated really unnecessary spending.  Want some examples? 

      Unreconciled transactions totaled $24.5 billion in 2003.  The government knows that $25 billion was spent by someone, somewhere, on something, but auditors do not know who spent it, where it was spent, or on what it was spent. The unreconciled $25 billion could have funded the entire Department of Justice for an entire year.

      Over one recent 18-month period, Air Force and Navy personnel used govern­ment-funded credit cards to charge at least $102,400 for admission to entertainment events, $48,250 for gambling, $69,300 for cruises, and $73,950 for exotic dance clubs and prostitutes.

      Medicare wastes more money than any other federal program, For example, Medicare pays as much as eight times what other federal agencies pay for the same drugs and medical supplies. The evidence showed that Medicare paid an average of more than double what the VA paid for the same items. The largest difference was for saline solution, with Medicare paying $8.26 per liter compared to the $1.02 paid by the VA

      In 2000, Medicare’s payments for 24 leading drugs were $1.9 billion higher than they would have been under the prices paid by the VA or other federal agencies.   The reason, Congress hamstrung Medicare by forcing them to pay whatever price pharma companies wanted.  By law Medicare, unlike the VA, is not allowed to negotiate for the lowest possible price.  Thank you President Bush.

Putting it all together, Medicare reform could save taxpayers and program beneficiaries $20 bil­lion to $30 billion annually without reducing ben­efits. That would be enough to fund a $3,000 refundable health care tax credit for nearly 10 mil­lion uninsured low-income households.

 

And then there are redundancies, where several organizations exist to do the same thing.  More examples from the Heritage Foundation Report:  

  • 342 economic development programs;
  • 75 programs funding international education, cultural, and training exchange activities;
  • 50 homeless assistance programs;
  • 40 separate employment and training pro­grams;
  • 3 agencies providing aid to the former Soviet republics;

 

Instead of grandstanding in their feigned righteous indignation over spending in the stimulous plan, I suggest Republicans look within and correct, in a bipartisan manner, the godawful mess they created.  If we eliminated the wasteful spending can you imagine how many jobs could be created, how many families could be provided with health insurance, how many people could be fed and how many students could be educated? 

 

Please comment here or email your thoughts to me at jaxbob@gmail.com

 

Also, please read and comment on my Organ Donation and Transplantation blogs on

http://bobsnewheart.wordpress.com  You can visit my Facebook site, Organ Transplant Patients, Friends and You at  http://tinyurl.com/225cfh  OR — my Facebook home page http://www.facebook.com/home.php  

 

 

 

 

New York Execs Can’t Live on $500K a Year. Can You? February 8, 2009

Posted by Bob Aronson in Executive Pay and Mismanagement.
1 comment so far

A recent New York Times column headlined, “You Try to Live on $500,000 in This Town” made the case that President Obama’s limit of a half million a year for executives whose firms took federal money, was a hardship.  The column by David Pogue, which sounded tongue-in-cheek, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/fashion/08halfmill.html?em attempted to justify $30,000 a year for women’s charity ball gowns, $45,000 a year for a nanny, $32,000 a year per student for private school and, of course, the need for men to wear Brooks Brothers or other exclusive clothiers suits.  Additionally he pointed out that many of these people took two vacations a year at $16,000 per vacation.  The premise is that an executive, successful or not — must keep up appearances. 

 

I can’t believe the arrogance that would cause some executives to complain about hardships when millions are out of work and therefore without healthcare, people are losing their homes and bankruptcy claims are reaching record proportions.  Poor executives — only making $500,000 a year.  Let us take up a collection so we can help them pay for their Mercedes’, vacations and ballroom clothing.

Let me quote from the Pogue column:  

“Not every bank executive has school-age children, but for those who do, offspring can be expensive. In addition to paying tuition, “You’re not going to get through private school without tutoring a kid,” said Sandy Bass, the editor of Private School Insider, a newsletter that covers private schools in the New York City area. One hour of tutoring once a week is $125. “That’s the low end,” she said. “The higher end is 150, 175.” SAT tutors are about $250 an hour. Total cost for 30 weeks of regular tutoring: $3,750.

Two children in private school: $64,000.

Nanny: $45,000.

Ms. Bass, whose husband is an accountant with many high-end clients, said she spends about $425 every 10 days on groceries for her family. Annual cost: about $15,000.

More? Restaurants. Dry cleaning. Each Brooks Brothers suit costs about $1,000. If you run a bank, you can’t look like a slob.

The total costs here, which do not include a lot of things, like kennels for the dog when the family is away, summer camp, spas and other grooming for the human members of the family, donations to charity, and frozen hot chocolates at Serendipity, are $790,750, which would require about a $1.6-million salary to compensate for taxes. Give or take a few score thousand of dollars.”

The point seems to be that a New York City executive must make at least $1.6 million a year just to survive – just to survive.  I don’t begrudge high salaries for top executives who make billions for their company, and therefore provide employment for thousands; obviously successful people should be rewarded.  Where I draw the line, and so does President Obama, is paying outrageously high salaries to executives who have led their organizations into near bankruptcy and then go hat in hand to the government asking for money to cover their poor judgment and mismanagement.  These people have caused a near depression not only in the United States, but for the whole world.  Frankly, I think they should be forced to live like the people they put out of work.  Try that on for size Wall Street!

Well, reader, what do you think?  Please comment or send me an email at jaxbob.gmail.com. 

Also, please read and comment on my Organ Donation and Transplantation blogs on

http://bobsnewheart.wordpress.com .   You can visit my Facebook site, Organ Transplant Patients, Friends and You at  http://tinyurl.com/225cfh  OR — my Facebook home page http://www.facebook.com/home.php